He Fearlessly Played Rugby, Now Pays Dearly for It

Once a Welsh rugby hero celebrated for his fearless tackles, Alix Popham now struggles daily to remember the triumphs of his career—or even simple moments with his family—as he lives with the devastating aftermath of brain injuries sustained on the field. Diagnosed at 40 with early onset dementia linked to chronic traumatic encephalopathy (CTE), Popham, now 45, told Der Spiegel he lives through days that are a patchwork of reminders, routines, and therapy—his recollections of past glories with Wales in the Six Nations and World Cup now mostly out of reach.

In his home in Newport, Wales, mementos like a framed photo of him shaking hands with Nelson Mandela hang on the wall, but the memory itself has slipped away. "I wish that encounter was still in here," Popham, 45, tapping his forehead. What he does remember are the injuries: the brutal concussion in 2004 that knocked him unconscious and the 100,000-plus sub-concussive hits he absorbed over a 14-year career. Back then, he says, the culture was relentless. If you were seeing stars, you were given smelling salts. Painkillers were handed around like candy, and with little medical care available, players were expected to tough it out through injuries. "If you were still standing at the weekend, you'd play," he recalls.

Life after rugby has been defined by the consequences. Popham battles memory loss, sudden fits of rage, and panic in crowds. His wife Melanie, whom he calls his "master brain," has been forced into the role of caregiver, helping him manage everything from shopping lists to forgotten conversations. She watched as once-small lapses spiraled into violent outbursts and terrifying moments of confusion, including the day Popham got lost on a familiar bike route and called home, unable to find his way back. When the diagnosis finally came, so did the crushing news: there is no cure.

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Now, Popham structures his days around rehabilitation. He plunges into ice baths, breathes oxygen in low-pressure chambers, and relies on alarms to remind him to pick up his daughter from school. He works part-time to give his brain rest and has even traveled to a clinic in Mexico for experimental radio frequency therapy, which he says has eased his symptoms. Still, the future remains uncertain. "I want to enjoy life," Popham said, "for as long as I know how." Read the full story.