If you've been waiting for J. Lo to open up about her divorce to Ben Affleck, wonder no more. "After a summer of relative silence, the comedian Nikki Glaser found a Jennifer Lopez who was more than ready to talk," proclaims Interview magazine, which has the women's conversation. They touch on her new film Unstoppable, her quest to prove "her enoughness," and finally being good on her own:
- In the film, Lopez plays Judy Robles, who at 16 gave birth to a son with one leg who went on to be a wrestling champion. "Little by little, you see the arc of this woman growing her self-esteem through the fact that her son just won't give up, and if he can do that, then she can do it, too." Glaser replied, "I can't help but see the mirror of your quest for self-esteem."
- "My whole life has been proving my enoughness," says Lopez, something she felt she lacked just from "being ignored, being a middle child, having a very outgoing mom and a dad who worked all day and worked all night and feeling like you weren't important, like you weren't a priority. That embeds in you ... I love my parents, but I do see the effect of who they were and how they were raised, on me. You don't even really know until those things start manifesting in your actual adult relationships. 'Oh, I'm comfortable with this person ignoring me. I'm comfortable with this person treating me this way or that way.'"
- "With This Is Me … Now ... I felt like, whoa, I got here. I'm good. I did all the work and look at where I am, and then it was like my whole f---ing world exploded," she says of the semi-autobiographical movie released earlier this year.
- "You have to be healthy. You have to be complete, if you want something that's more complete. You have to be good on your own. I thought I learned that, but I didn't. And then, this summer, I had to be like, 'I need to go off and be on my own. I want to prove to myself that I can do that.'"
- Being alone "feels lonely, unfamiliar, scary. It feels sad. It feels desperate. But when you sit in those feelings and go, 'These things are not going to kill me,' it's like actually, I am capable of joy and happiness all by myself."
- "Being in a relationship doesn't define me. I can't be looking for happiness in other people. I have to have happiness within myself. I used to say I'm a happy person, but was still looking for something for somebody else to fill, and it's just like, 'No, I'm actually good.'"
- "For people who are romantics and love being in relationships and want to grow old with somebody, we think, 'I have to have that to be whole and happy.' And you don't."
- She doesn't regret the pain she went through for "one second. That doesn't mean it didn't almost take me out for good. It almost did. But now, on the other side of it, I think to myself, 'F---, that is exactly what I needed. Thank you, god. I'm sorry it took me so long. I'm sorry that you had to do this to me so many times. I should have learned it two or three times ago. I get it. You had to hit me really hard over the head with a f---ing sledgehammer. You dropped the house on me. Don't have to do it again.'"
(Read the lengthy interview in full
here.)
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